Doesn’t this extremely cold week provoke you to stay at home with a cup of hot tea and think about the beginning of the year? Now you’re gonna say “Enough with those new year resolution bullshit” and you know what… I’d say the same :)
Actually the long lists of things you set as goals in the beginning of each year can be real underwater rocks when it comes to our psyche.
Because euphoric from the “new beginning” we sometimes set the bar too high. This high that by the start of February we may cut the list into pieces with an unbelievable rage… And this rage has often occured as an aftereffect of anxiety that the lists had brought us..
We tell ourselves that there’s no point. Until next year when everything repeats itself. This repetitive activity may seem harmless, but it actually is cruel - it may leave a mark in you that comes to the surface when you have to make decisions, when you have to change something or when you have to do an effort for something. This might be the one small thing that lays in the basis of that inner voice that sometimes comes to ask “am I good enough” and “can I really do this” and somehow answers instead of you “no”.
But why do we have to lie to ourselves each year and why nourish that voice of self doubt? Today I’m sharing the 3 most intimate secrets that have to change your attitude towards the new beginnings :)
Tomorrow I’m starting fresh.
As much as we need to procrastinate, this is just isolation from the problem. Imagine it like building a wall, we stay behind it to eliminate responsibility that every new thing brings. Tomorrow is just a point in the future, that we can change all the time. But what do we really postpone? Probably something that we desperately need, something good for us, or something that would flip our lives upside down (how scary are those changes, but do we really live without them?). So stand still (for yourself) and say today instead of tomorrow!
* Of course the words above are suitable for personal goals.
I have to change.
There’s a huge gap between “have to” and “want”. This huge that your whole life depends on it. If you live on the “have to” principle, then you wouldn’t really achieve that much (sorry to sound that harsh). Have to suggests something that you do under the pressure that comes from the outside. And is the pressure comes from the outside, the the goal can be easily lost. And is it really your goal?
When a person lives on the “want” principle, he makes things for himself. Then every step toward achieving is sweet, then a person feels why the goal is important and only then growth is truly possible.
Have to or want - you choose!
*We can’t erase have to from our lives completely. There will always be those daily chores that we do because we have to but “have to” can be erased from our personal goals.
When this happens, I’ll finally be happy.
In the world of the norm happiness does not exist as a destination. People have been talking about it for centuries and I don’t think they’ll ever stop. It’s one of those imaginary goal that we all seek (even unconsciously). But happiness is not an endless state. It’s temporary. And relative. And subjective. And so desirable. But we cannot put it into parameters and build a plan to reach it.
Why? Because in most cases these plans smash with full speed. And leave us broken and weak.
Happiness occurs when we don’t wait for it with arms wide open. It occurs when we free our minds of the feverish search for it. We shouldn’t set goals to be happy, but to grow personally. And happiness will follow… eventually and for a period of time :) There’re so many factors around us that we cannot control…
I hope these three secrets have helped you see the world in a different angle and think through your new year resolution list. A person should always know where he stands and how high can he jump. And the bar, it moves gradually and with trainings…
Till next time,
Photos: Arsen Nikolov